Three different priorities, three different starting positions — pick based on what you actually want out of the session.
Positions for hand-only sessions
- Lying on your back, knees bent. The default for a reason — full hand access, easy to adjust pressure and angle, and comfortable to sustain. Good starting point if you're not sure what you like yet.
- Side-lying, thighs together. Applies steady pressure through thigh contact rather than direct hand movement — a genuinely different sensation, and less physically active than other options.
- Face-down. Grinding against a hand, pillow, or the bed itself rather than lying on your back — some people find the pressure and control this offers meaningfully different from other positions. A firm pillow under the hips (see our guide to pillows and props) can make this more comfortable to sustain.
- Seated, in a bath or shower. Water changes the sensation and cleanup is built in, but it also affects lubrication — water actually washes away natural lubrication rather than adding it, so a water-safe personal lubricant (see our lube guide) is worth having on hand rather than relying on the water itself.
Positions that work better with a toy
Toys change what a position needs to accomplish — instead of optimizing purely for hand access, you're optimizing for how well the toy stays in place and whether your hands are free to control it or not.
- Back, knees bent and slightly apart. The most versatile toy-compatible position — works for external vibrators, insertable toys, and dual-stimulation designs alike, with full visibility and control. See our rabbit vibrators guide if you're using a dual-stimulation toy specifically.
- Side-lying with a toy tucked between the thighs. Lets thigh pressure hold a toy in place with minimal hand involvement — works particularly well with wand-style vibrators that don't require insertion.
- Mounted, using a suction-cup base. Some dildos are designed with a suction-cup base specifically so they can mount to a flat surface — a wall, the edge of a tub, a chair — freeing both hands entirely. Our dildo buying guide covers what to check for if this is the use case you're shopping for.
What actually matters more than the position itself
Position is a starting point, not a fixed rule — the right one is whichever lets you actually relax rather than focus on holding a pose. A few things matter more than which position you pick: whether you're rushed or have real privacy, whether a toy needs charging or lube ready beforehand so the session isn't interrupted, and whether you're chasing a specific known sensation or exploring generally — the second calls for more experimentation across positions than the first.
Who this is for
Genuinely anyone — this isn't a beginner-only or advanced-only topic, just one that gets skipped over because "how to masturbate" guides tend to focus on technique rather than physical setup. If you're newer to using toys during solo sex specifically, our beginner's guide to toys covers material and budget basics before you get to the position question at all.