Anal sex positions: which ones actually work best

Whatever position you choose, the single biggest factor in comfort is who controls depth and pace — and for anyone newer to anal sex, that's usually easiest when it's the receiving partner. The four positions below are ordered from most to least control for the receiving partner, so you can start where it's easiest and move on once things feel comfortable.

Receiver on top

The receiving partner straddles the other, facing either direction, and controls depth, angle, and speed entirely themselves. This is the single most beginner-friendly option specifically because there's no ambiguity about pace — the receiving partner sets it directly rather than communicating it to someone else in real time.

The receiving partner straddles the other partner, who lies on their back — depth, angle, and pace stay entirely in the receiving partner's hands. Full entry in the glossary.

Side-lying (spoon)

Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction, similar to our Elevated Spoon guide for vaginal sex. It's low-effort for both people, doesn't require much strength or balance, and while the receiving partner has slightly less direct control than on top, the slow, close nature of the position makes it easy to communicate and adjust in real time.

Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, the other partner close behind — a low-effort angle that's easy to adjust in real time.

On all fours, supported

A step up in intensity: the receiving partner is on hands and knees, ideally with a pillow under the hips for support and to reduce strain on the arms. This position allows deeper penetration than the first two, which is exactly why it's better suited to once the basics feel comfortable rather than a first attempt — see our pillows and props guide for the right pillow setup.

The receiving partner is on hands and knees with the other partner kneeling behind — add a pillow under the hips for the supported setup this section recommends. Full entry in the glossary.

Face-to-face, receiver on their back

Similar to missionary, with a pillow under the hips to adjust the angle. The advantage here isn't physical — it's that face-to-face contact makes checking in easier, since both partners can see each other's reactions directly. It's a reasonable choice any time in the process, not just for beginners, specifically for couples who want anal sex to be as communicative as any other position.

The receiving partner lies on their back with the other partner between their legs, face to face — a pillow under the hips adjusts the angle and keeps checking in easy. Full entry in the glossary.

What to skip, at least at first

Positions that put the giving partner fully in control of depth and pace — standing positions, or anything where the receiving partner can't easily pull away or signal to stop — are worth saving until you both have more experience together and clear communication already established. None of the four above require giving up that control.