Why a "game" actually helps
The value isn't the game mechanic itself — it's that a game gives both people permission to say or try something without it being a big, loaded conversation. Turn-taking and rules do a lot of quiet work: they lower the stakes of bringing something up, and they make "no, not that one" a normal part of play instead of an awkward rejection. If straightforward conversation already works fine for you two, you don't need a game — this is mainly useful for the gap between "we don't talk about this" and "we talk about this easily."
Six that actually work
1. Question card decks
Pre-written prompt cards (bought or homemade) that each person answers in turn — ranging from "what's something you've wanted to try" to lighter warm-up questions. The structure matters more than the specific questions: taking turns means neither person has to be the one who brings it up first every time.
2. Yes/No/Maybe lists
Each person privately marks a shared list of activities as yes, no, or maybe, then compares answers together. It's less a "game" in the playful sense and more a structured tool, but it belongs on this list because it solves the exact problem games are good for — surfacing things that are hard to say out loud first.
3. Truth or dare, adult version
The classic format still works well specifically because it's familiar — both people already know the rules, which lowers the barrier to actually playing. Agree on boundaries for both truths and dares before starting, the same way you would for anything else.
4. Dice or roll-based games
Dice (or a spinner) assigned to actions or body parts add an element of chance that takes the pressure off choosing — nobody has to decide, the roll decides. Purpose-built sets exist, but a homemade version with a regular die and an agreed-upon list works exactly the same way.
5. Scavenger hunts with a payoff
One partner hides notes or small tasks around a space, each leading to the next, ending in whatever the "prize" is. It takes more setup than the others on this list, which is part of the appeal — the anticipation built during the hunt is doing real work before anything else happens.
6. Massage trade games
Timed turns giving and receiving massage, sometimes with a prompt card or timer deciding when to switch. Lower-key than the others, and a good option if the goal is slowing down together rather than novelty specifically.
Who this is for
Couples who find direct conversation about trying new things harder than they'd like, or who just want a lower-effort way to add variety without a big planning conversation. If you already communicate easily about this, a game is a nice-to-have, not a fix for anything — our guide on how to bring up trying something new covers the direct-conversation route if that's a better fit.